Monday Motivation: #PutItInTheUniverse: Are You A Pessimist, Optimist, or "Opti-realist"

It’s that time of the month, y’all! #PutItInTheUniverse!

So if you're new to the Yes Queen fam, first of all... YAAASS QUEEN! So happy you're here! But secondly, I'm sure you're wondering what is #PutItInTheUniverse?

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A few weeks ago, I wrote this article about how I got the chance to actualize one of my dreams, and give a presentation at my high school, Concord Academy. Self-actualization, and the realization of one’s potential is at the heart of what Yes Queen is all about. We, tirelessly, strive to figure out to provide women, and people of marginalized experience the clarity, control, confidence, and choices to actualize their potential.

One of the ways in which I wanted to try and accomplish that goal for my readers is by doing what I call #PutItInTheUniverse days, where every few days a month we are going to tap into our unapologetic fierceness, and put a goal that we have for ourselves out into the universe. Now this can be on social media (don't forget to tag me or Yes Queen), on a vision board, or even on a regular piece of paper, but it just needs to be written down.

Why am I making you do this, you ask? Well, let’s be real, I’m not making you do anything you don’t want to. But I do hope that by using the 4 Queen Commandments, you’ll see how beneficial of a choice writing out your goals can be for your future. In fact, here’s a lil’ piece of clarity for ya… “You are 42% more likely to achieve your goals and dreams, simply by writing them down on a regular basis” (Huffington Post).

42% they say!

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That’s basically giving you a 50-50 chance to accomplish WHATEVER it is that you want. 50-50! You could say you want to write a book, learn how to fly planes, build a rocketship, pay off your student loans-- you could literally write whatever your heart desires, and you’d have close to a 50% CHANCE of getting it.

Now I know there are at least a few glass-half-empty folks out there who might want to say, “But Daysha, there’s also close to a 60% chance of me NOT getting what I want. So if there’s a greater chance of me not getting what I want, why would I even bother?”

So for anyone that feels this way, I want to say thank you. I say thank you because I honor your honesty, and your ability to really utilize what the Clarity commandment is all about. We cannot unapologetically walk towards a future filled with self-confidence and fierceness if we are not honest about the moments or thoughts that fill us with hesitation and self-doubt.

So I truly do applaud you for learning how to let your insecurities come to the surface. That is how we will figure out how to fight them head on. So if there is one word that perfectly captures the essence of my being it is the following… “Opti-realist”.

Everyone thinks the world is filled with optimists and pessimists; gullible, overly-positive, sad saps, and harsh, soul-crushing assholes. And me? Well, I didn’t like the almost utopian, unachievable outlook of some optimists, and I definitely was here for the soul-crushing, apathetic outlook of some pessimists.

I liked to be positive, even in my moments of despair, but always stay real about where my roadblocks were. And seeing as I’ve always known from a young age that I don’t fit neatly into a box, I created the term “opti-realist” to better describe my outlook.

I like to see optimism in everything I do and every adversity I face, but still have a firm grasp over what is actually possible for me to accomplish. Everyone thinks that “realness” is rude, but that “positivity” is fake. So my goal with developing the opti-realist approach was to find a way to acknowledge and confront the bumps that were on my path, but to always find a way to keep it moving with my head held high.

So now that we understand the opti-realist lens that YQ was crafted through, let’s go back to that goal setting stat. Now sure, I only have a 42% chance of accomplishing my goal if I write it down, and there’s a lot more staked on the other side of the coin that I won’t get what I write down.

The optimist would say the glass is basically half full .

The pessimist would say the glass is technically 42% full, and thus, more than half empty.

The opti-realist in me, however, would say the glass is full enough.

The opti-realist in me would say, “sure, it’s not full, but at least it’s enough to get me started”. The opti-realist in me would say “I am thankful for this glass, and that I have the privilege of having some water in it, but it’s ok that I want more, and I will do the work to get more.”

Opti-realists know how to acknowledge their shortcomings, but don’t let them define them. They fully confront the hurt that comes with not getting what you want, but use the knowledge that they gain in that moment to help them keep it moving.

So as you go forth, and put your goal(s) out into the universe, I hope you do so with love, peace, and unapologetic "opti-realism." I hope that you can take the time to have true clarity with yourself, and acknowledge the parts of your goals/dreams that make you insecure, and scared, but that you remember the 4 Queen Commandments, and allow them to guide you towards making choices that you firmly stand behind.

If putting your goals out on social media feels to mortifyingly scary to you, I totally get it, Queen. Always feel free to email us at if you just want to be able to send it out somewhere, but social media feels like too much.

And know that big sistah auntie queen Daysha will be cheering you on every step of the way! Yaaass Queens, YAAASS!