Welcome To When Life Gives You Frogboys

I'm sure many of you are wondering what is a "frogboy"?

So keeping on theme with Yes Queen being all about royalty, and heifers loved to be kissin up on frogs in all these fairy tales with the hopes of them eventually turning into a prince, I decided that it would only be on brand to call the trash men who try to run in and out of our beds "frogboys" instead of fuckboys.

So what was my inspiration behind this blog? Well honestly, it was for this girl right here.

 
yes queen
 

When I was 14 (and honestly, all through out high school... and a bit into college... and maybe a few years before I was 14), the only thing that I wanted to master was the art of getting a boo.

I mean I was still focused in school; I got good grades, travelled, did student government, and basically had high ambitions to be a boss bitch.

BUT... at the very same time for some odd reason, winning achievements like being co-valedictorian in 8th grade, getting into boarding school, becoming junior class and student body president, getting into college... like literally none of that shit mattered to me  because I didn't have a boyfriend. (I know, girl, I know... I'm infuriated now just reading it, but alas it is my truth).

It was like there was this very omnipresent, unwritten rule that as a woman, it didn't matter how well I did for myself if at the end of this very long list of achievements, I couldn't also say that I was someone's girlfriend.

For a long time, actually, I feared that my ambition and my winning (along with the fact that I was fat and black) was gonna hold me back from being able to get a boo. I thought that no man was ever going to want to be by my side, and ultimately I'd end up alone because if there was one thing I knew, and my mother Angela  knew, it was that we stop our hustle for no one.

yes queen

And because I grew up in a time that was so oversaturated with media that only depicted women's happiness in juxtaposition to a relationship or a man, I also believed that I would never know what it felt like to be fulfilled and happy.

If you're a real Day 1, you'll remember this video I did with BuzzFeed on my journey towards becoming comfortable with my single status.

It breaks my heart now, but I remember nights when I would get down on my knees, with warm wet streaks running down my face, PRAYING for God to do me a solid, and send me a man.

But He never did. He did me one better, and helped me find find my voice, and the strength I needed to get through it.

And now, I wanted to use the strength that I have found, and pass it on to y'all.

When I really took the time to examine where all my feelings of inadequacy were coming from, it was because there isn't enough media in the world that showcased women being happy and single and killin' it.

And it's not that I'm saying that you should never desire to be in a relationship, but as your self-appointed auntie big sistah queen, I just want to make sure that you are in a relationship because you actually want one, and not because you feel like you need one. I want you to know that you have choices, and to never second guess that.

I know that can be a hard thing to believe in right now (especially since I lived in that hole of self-doubt for most of my life), but trust that if there is one thing I'm excited about for 2018, it is getting you to a place where you can be single and happy or in a relationship and happy, but always on your own terms. I hope you're as excited as I am!

FrogboysDaysha Veronica