Monday Motivation: The text message I never saw coming...
So back in the day when I used to work at BuzzFeed, I made spoken word poetry videos that became very popular across the internet. This poem video in particular that I am showing you is called “I Am Not That Girl,” and it narrates my internal struggles of never feeling like “that girl.”
You know, that girl that always has people lined up to want to date her…
That girl that just slays at her makeup every damn day (I think I'd be better off trying to draw an actual cat than trying to do a cat eye on my face, lol)...
That girl that just seems to have everything all together when it comes to being more womanly.
For so much of my life I never felt like I was that girl. It felt like every other girl on the planet somehow had mastered how to be feminine, and I was always going to be 12 steps behind her place.
And then an interesting thing happened.
When I released “I Am Not That Girl,” not only did this poem go viral, but I also received a text message from an old friend that put a lot of things in perspective for me.
This friend of mine saw the video, and wanted to deeply thank me for having made it. She told me about how it captured so many feelings that she often felt throughout her life, and how she, too, had many “that girls” in her life.
Now can you imagine my shock when I tell you that this friend who reached out to me was actually a “that girl” of mine?
It was a very surreal moment for me both as a person and as an artist. I don't think this friend would ever imagine herself being one of my “that girls,” but her message provided me with a big piece of clarity.
Even “that girl” is a girl who's going through it.
She reminded me that we are not as alone in our struggles as we like to think. And sometimes, those who we think have it the best are actually struggling as hard, if not harder, than we are.
When the poem first came out, while most people loved it, there were a few people who thought that this was supposed to be an attack on “that girl”; that I was trying to be divisive.
But in actuality, I wanted this poem to be a lesson to us all that this so-called girl that has it better than us is actually a myth. She is a representation of all of our insecurities of how we’ve failed the societal expectations of femininity.
And as much as my nerdy ass loves getting a good grade, this is the one test that I am actually happy I failed because I am now learning how to define being the best “this girl” I know. I am focusing more on what makes me feel good rather than trying to fit into (and failing) what society says is supposed to make me feel good.
Getting that message from my friend was all of the affirmation I needed to know that many of us don't feel like we're good enough. So as we go forth and reimagine our Monday this week, I would like to encourage you to remember that even your "that girl" probably doesn't think she's that girl.
So instead of focusing on all the ways that she might be better than you, take some time to find clarity on what it would take for you to focus on being the best "this girl" (aka you)!
And if you need some help building your mental strength, here's how you can build that strength in 3 simple steps!
Much love, peace, and unapologetic fierceness, my Queens!