NOW THE CHOICE WILL REALLY
Watch this short video on which Daysha talks about the inspiration behind Yes Queen.
UNAPOLOGETIC IS NO LONGER JUST A WORD...
IT'S A LIFESTYLE
- A LETTER FROM DAYSHA VERONICA
"A woman that finds clarity and comfort in her position about...
Becoming "unapologetic" is something I hear about more and more as the days go by. But what does one really gain by being more unapologetic? Why is this a word that we are now so invested in?
So one day I stopped to think about what words/phrases come to mind when thinking of the word "unapologetic"?
"Living in my truth."
All of these words are great associations, and on the surface, appear to be ideal character traits to embody. I mean lord knows how many times I've wanted to leave a situation with a frogboy with "IDGAF" swagger just oozing from every step I take (after he's soaking wet from the drink I just threw in his face of course). But after many attempts at mastering "IDGAF" swagger, I finally had to admit to myself how uncomfortable and, honestly, tiring it felt to not give a fuck about what anyone thought. I am a huge protector of my energy, and I'm very precious about how I use it everyday. And to be honest, it felt like it was much more draining to carry this "IDGAF" shield, or defense mechanism as my inner psych nerd would say, than it was to face the fact that there were certain times where I did care about what people thought.
Over time, I realized that being unapologetic didn't have to just mean not giving a fuck, but rather that it should be about controlling how many fucks you have to give about certain events in your life. I realized that not only was it about taking accountability for my actions, but that it was also equally just as much about having an accurate understanding of just how much push back I deserved to take for those actions. Unapologetic-ness is just as much about awareness as it is about being care-free. It is about acknowledging that at the end of the day, you must always keep it moving. You will not get caught in doubt and fear. You will make a choice, and you will move forward, regardless of that outcome. You will always aim to do no harm with whatever choice you make, and will seek accountability when appropriate, but you will also not allow yourself to take any unnecessary shit for them as well.
After thinking about it some more, I began to see being unapologetic in two subtle, but very different ways.
Are we unapologetic because we want the freedom to be careless about how our actions affect others (what I would call unapologetic recklessness)?
Or are we unapologetic because we are trying to make choices that leave us with nothing to be sorry for (what I would call unapologetic fierceness)?
A woman that finds clarity and comfort in her position about wanting to be single, about being a stay-at-home mom, about not getting married, about being in touch with her sexuality, about having fat and other so-called "imperfections" on her body has (clapping hand emoji) NOTHING (clapping hand emoji) TO (clapping hand emoji) BE (clapping hand emoji) SORRY (clapping hand emoji) ABOUT PERIOD.
And yet we live in a society that constantly demands apologies from these types of women.
"How dare you live your life to the fullest extent of your potential?"
"How dare you consider your own position when making important life decisions?"
How dare you stray from the status quo, and liberate others from these social norms that we've been following for centuries. If that is how it's been, then that is how it will always be and that's that."
Well y'all... society has me ALL (clapping hand emoji) THE (clapping hand emoji) WAY (clapping hand emoji) FUCKED (clapping hand emoji) UP, if you think "that will just be that."
At the heart of what I am trying to do is in one simple saying.
"Always keep it moving."
People, and things, and life events will always try to come for your crown. And in some instances, they not only make you feel like you've lost your crown, but they will try to make you believe that it never existed in the first place. My work is aimed at not only helping people find their crown (because it's always been there), but to also remind them that even in the most trying of times, your crown will always be with you. So hold that head up unapologetically high, babygirl! And blind all ya haters as you move past them because you, my queen, are out here shinin', thrivin' and strivin' to be your best unapologetic self every day!
So I hope you will join me on my quest towards embracing true unapologetic fierceness. I definitely think it will be a choice worth making.
In love, peace, and unapologetic fierceness,
YES QUEEN PLEDGE OF UNAPOLOGETIC ALLEGIANCE
I pledge allegiance to the crown of the united queens of the world
to always be seeking clarity, taking control, and building confidence, so as to make choices for my life that allow me to live up to the fullest extent of my potential.
I pledge to hold my head unapologetically high so that the visibility of my crown is never questioned, by myself or others.
I pledge to honor the unapologetic code of conduct; to make choices that do no harm, but to take no unnecessary shit for those choices.
And even in my most trying of times, I pledge to always keep it moving in the name of love, peace, and unapologetic fierceness.
One crown, indivisible by the haters, with progress and choices for all.
"One crown, indivisible by the haters, with progress and choices for all."